(pt 2 ) How do I bring this up to him and tell him that it bothers me without seeming like I dont want him sexually or hurting his feelings?
"Hey, most of the time it’s chill that you grab my butt/boobs like that… but sometimes it triggers me. and because of that I think we should just avoid that in general because being triggered sucks. I still love ya but… yeah."
Just be honest with him. and that you can’t think of a way to tell him when it’s okay and when it’s not- so just avoid the random stuff. If you’re okay with it like. right after you’ve done it to him- or when you see him coming- you can tell him that too.
It shouldn’t be that big of a deal. If he’s been understanding so far- he should be understanding now.
I had a relationship with a similar issue, and we established a rule. He basically had a safe word that he would playfully say before he would swoop in for the grab (ours was “Monster hands!”) and I could respond accordingly before physical contact was established. If I laughed and yelled “Oh noes, not monster hands!” or something similarly lighthearted, then he knew I was okay to play, but if I said “no monster hands today” and put my fingers up in an X then he knew it was a no go. It worked really well for us to establish boundaries that we knew to be fluid while still maintaining a playful atmosphere. I could say “no” in a way that didn’t ruin a playful mood. We called it our preemptive safe word; we also had what we called a “soft safe word” and a “hard safe word”— the soft word could be used to say “I need the thing to stop but I’m okay to continue being playful” and the hard word to say “Every single fucking thing needs to stop right this second because I am triggered and absolutely not okay”. Safe words are for more than just sexual situations.
Good advice is good.
Sometimes it really is just that startle factor, so if you can figure out a way to get rid of that… and also communicate when you may be okay vs. not okay- then hopefully that will work.
this is the most beautiful and amazing thing i have ever read in my entire life and it makes me so so happy
Part 2 — #27BiStories: When Did You Come Out? What Was The Response Like?
Hoping to shine a light on the myths about the bisexual community — both in and out of lesbian, gay, transgender, and queer spaces — The Advocate has launched a four-part series written from interviews with 27 self-identified bisexuals, all of whom happen to be in relationships. Earlier this week, we asked our sources to confont the biggest misconceptions they face as bisexual people, and today, we’re turning our attention to the “coming out” stories that so often unite members of the LGBT community.
Do those stories provide the same kind of “we’ve all been there” unity that many in the lesbian, gay, and transgender communities experience when sharing their own coming-outs? Or do bisexual people face ridicule and disbelief from the very people who claim to want to liberate others from the closet? Read on to find out.
This is #27BiStories.
Yes, yes, yes, and yes.
At least I knew to expect homophobia when I was in same-sex relationships, I was not prepared at all for the biphobia I’d experience later. Personally, I’ve found the dismissal, accusations, and vitriol I get from the queer side regarding my sexuality to be far, far more hurtful than the harassment and garbage thrown at me I’d get from straight men on the street when I’d walk hand-in-hand with my girlfriend.
You expect it from bigoted strangers, you don’t see it coming from your supposed “community”
Daily reblog. I have to, it’s the law.
time to take my vitamin…
You know what gets to me every time this pops up on my dash?
The takes this must have taken. Like how many they must have done until they decided ^this one was the one the world got to see.
according to Loo, it took 4 takes. [X]well, Loo is one lucky lady
And Benedict is one lucky gentleman. :)
To find out you had a friend you never knew existed… Well, that’s the best feeling in the world.
Pride | Matthew Warchus, 2014
you weren’t specific so