ifyoucarryonthisway:

hello 911 my sock is falling down inside my shoe 

(Source: averagefairy)

"Don’t you dare, for one more second, surround yourself with people who are not aware of the greatness that you are."
— Jo Blackwell-Preston  (via thatkindofwoman)

(Source: aquoteadaykeepsthemonstersaway)

hardythehermitcrab:

remember when doctor who didn’t have as big of a budget so they had to rely on plot

tipsymaple:

I may not be a perfect person but at least I have never yelled at an employee in a store

Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great…You have no power over me.

(Source: flokism-archive)

misandry-mermaid:

stfueverything:

kanaya-maryammm-or-fmmm:

many of the things wrong with the world can be summed up in this comment

how do people still find this joke funny? 

Sandwich jokes are a product of men feeling intimidated by women who are smarter, stronger, or more successful than they are.

misandry-mermaid:

stfueverything:

kanaya-maryammm-or-fmmm:

many of the things wrong with the world can be summed up in this comment

how do people still find this joke funny? 

Sandwich jokes are a product of men feeling intimidated by women who are smarter, stronger, or more successful than they are.

kneelb4todd:

occupymalfoysbed:

Friendly reminder that Harry Potter straight up murdered a guy with his bare hands when he was 11 years old

actually no, he didn’t. it’s very important to me that people know he didn’t. that happened in the movie, yes, but as we all know the films take certain liberties with the source material. in the book, harry putting his hands on quirrel caused excruciating pain, enough to keep quirrel from murdering him, but that was not what ultimately killed quirrel. the cause of death was voldemort leaving quirrel’s body, which consequently gave out. harry potter didn’t kill anyone at age 11.

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck